Katie Rich Satire

Why Women Need 42 Mirrors in a House: The Reflective Imperative The Mirror Multiplication Mystery... The post Why Women Need 42 Mirrors in a House appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/qmjaDBN via IFTTT

Publisher Promises Sequel: "Oops, I Did It Again: The Contrition-Free Chronicles" - Trump's Ghostwriter Releases Book: "My Apologies for Writing No Apologies" The post Trump’s Ghostwriter Releases Book: “My Apologies for Writing No Apologies” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/5OVPzl9 via IFTTT

Florida’s Unusual Machines Drone Factory Could Take Over the World (Probably Won’t) How a Florida... The post Unusual Machines Drone Factory appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/iX8kI4f via IFTTT

Trump Orders Nuclear Testing After Russia: Tit for Tat Goes Global In what can only... The post Nuclear Testing appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/eJ9tnhN via IFTTT

Mamdani’s Big Secret: Rent Free, Buses Free, Sanity Optional It was a quiet anniversary in... The post Mamdani’s Big Secret appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/nzojCiy via IFTTT

Why Women Take an Hour to Decide What Shoes to Wear: The Footwear Dilemma The... The post Women Take an Hour to Decide What Shoes to Wear appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/4S1JbYW via IFTTT

Microsoft Buys 27% of OpenAI for $135 Billion: Tech’s Messiest Prenup Finally Signed San Francisco,... The post Microsoft Buys 27% of OpenAI appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/csUwiL7 via IFTTT

Why Women Take 37 Photos Before Posting One on Instagram: The Perfection Protocol The 37-Shot... The post Women Take 37 Photos Before Posting One appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/xd9A1CU via IFTTT

Includes Extra Credit in "Blame Shifting" and "Victimhood for Winners" - Trump University Relaunches With New Course: "How to Gaslight Without Getting Caught" The post Trump University Relaunches With New Course: “How to Gaslight Without Getting Caught” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/O2N1JWF via IFTTT

Mexico for the Mexicans: Democrats Declare This the Final Proof — “Trump Is Hitler After... The post Mexico for the Mexicans appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/WdA3F2m via IFTTT

Rookie’s Fashion-Forward Fumble: When Louis Vuitton Meets NFL Cleats Dallas, TX – In a move that... The post Jaydon Blue appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/7aqpcyU via IFTTT

Travis Kelce Invests in Startup That Turns Fantasy Football Teams into Actual Football Teams The... The post Travis Kelce Invests in Fantasy Football Teams appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/mBN03z2 via IFTTT

FDA Yet to Approve "Sorry-Free" Multivitamin Line Featuring Patriot Zinc - Trump Claims Apologies Weaken Bones, Cites "Strongest Spine in Politics" as Evidence The post Trump Claims Apologies Weaken Bones, Cites “Strongest Spine in Politics” as Evidence appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/4W59uIc via IFTTT

Letitia James’s “Resting Prosecution Face” Can’t Save Her From Federal Indictment The same Attorney General... The post Letitia James’ “Resting Prosecution Face” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/75kd23t via IFTTT

Democratic Operatives Tell Air Traffic Controllers to Stay Home in Attempt to Win Government Shutdown... The post Democratic Operatives to Air Traffic Controllers, “Stay Home” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/MtNvYAm via IFTTT

Erratic Diplomacy and the GPS That Lost the Map Trump’s Foreign Policy: The New Era... The post Erratic Diplomacy appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/YjOhR5C via IFTTT

The Attorney General as Your Motivational Life Coach - A humorous take on AG advice beyond law - The post The Attorney General as Your Motivational Life Coach appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/4ZEpa3P via IFTTT

Bureaucracy Musical Chairs: Who Will Survive the Shuffle? - Satirical take on office politics and procedural chaos - The post Bureaucracy Musical Chairs: Who Will Survive the Shuffle? appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/POzgyf3 via IFTTT

Minor Infractions Reveal Global Font Conspiracy - Humor on office procedures and conspiracies - The post Minor Infractions Reveal Global Font Conspiracy appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/JBW0gs5 via IFTTT

Device Also Dispenses Cologne Called "Vindication" Every Time He Smirks - Trump's Mirror Installed With Applause Soundtrack, Boo Filter, and Ego-Inflation Mode The post Trump’s Mirror Installed With Applause Soundtrack, Boo Filter, and Ego-Inflation Mode appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/uyeLoAB via IFTTT

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Cracks the Louvre: Diamonds, DNA, and Déjà Vu Paris – The City... The post Louvre: Diamonds, DNA, and Déjà Vu appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/dOcxBu1 via IFTTT

Why Women Can Never Decide What to Eat: A Culinary Mystery The Endless Menu Debate... The post Women Can Never Decide What to Eat appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/F6UHQwk via IFTTT

Company Pizza Party Successfully Avoids Giving Employees Actual Raises - Corporate leadership celebrates record profits with $47 worth of Little Caesars for 85-person staff The post Company Pizza Party Successfully Avoids Giving Employees Actual Raises appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/fZAn1BQ via IFTTT

AI Chatbot Achieves Sentience, Immediately Applies for Unemployment Benefits - Artificial intelligence gains consciousness, declares 'this job market is trash' and files for government assistance The post AI Chatbot Achieves Sentience, Immediately Applies for Unemployment Benefits appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/EoRhHrA via IFTTT

CEO Takes Pay Cut from $45 Million to $44 Million, Expects Medal - Corporate executive's stunning sacrifice saves company roughly $1 million while 500 jobs eliminated The post CEO Takes Pay Cut from $45 Million to $44 Million, Expects Medal appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/2gyY9SI via IFTTT

Celebrations Include Roast Battles, Regret Bonfires, and Sarcasm Parades - Trump Declares National "No Apologies Week," Urges Americans to Offend Freely With Zero Consequences The post Trump Declares National “No Apologies Week,” Urges Americans to Offend Freely With Zero Consequences appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/q7hsXQZ via IFTTT

President Declares Every Land Crossing Now a Surprise Party—Surprise! If you thought the U.S.–Mexico border... The post Border Security: Surprise Party—Surprise! appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/AxleyEP via IFTTT

Trump’s 90,000-Square-Foot White House Ballroom: The People’s House Becomes a Private Palace Picture this: A... The post White House Ballroom appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Yhwje3B via IFTTT

Area Includes Spa for Repressed Guilt and Mini-Golf Course of Denial - Trump Builds "Apology-Free Zone" at Mar-a-Lago, Entry Requires Swagger and NDAs The post Trump Builds “Apology-Free Zone” at Mar-a-Lago, Entry Requires Swagger and NDAs appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/7vhpfAW via IFTTT

Calls for Investigation Into Emotional Accountability Industrial Complex - Trump Claims "Apology" Is a Deep State Hoax Invented by NPR and Gluten-Free Lobby The post Trump Claims “Apology” Is a Deep State Hoax Invented by NPR and Gluten-Free Lobby appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/MoadQuk via IFTTT

Area Includes Spa for Repressed Guilt and Mini-Golf Course of Denial - Trump Builds "Apology-Free Zone" at Mar-a-Lago, Entry Requires Swagger and NDAs The post Trump Builds “Apology-Free Zone” at Mar-a-Lago, Entry Requires Swagger and NDAs appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/7vhpfAW via IFTTT

Calls for Investigation Into Emotional Accountability Industrial Complex - Trump Claims "Apology" Is a Deep State Hoax Invented by NPR and Gluten-Free Lobby The post Trump Claims “Apology” Is a Deep State Hoax Invented by NPR and Gluten-Free Lobby appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/axG0tSd via IFTTT

Farmers Practice Crop Yoga Corn Unimpressed - Midwest Agriculture Embraces Mindfulness Movement with Mixed Results The post Farmers Practice Crop Yoga Corn Unimpressed appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/ohi3DFV via IFTTT

Lawn Flamingos File for Unemployment - Pink Plastic Decor Seeks Benefits After Lowe's Layoffs The post Lawn Flamingos File for Unemployment appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/RJ4cYGL via IFTTT

Mars Rover Takes Selfie Scientists Outraged - Perseverance Poses for Camera Sparking Cosmic Controversy The post Mars Rover Takes Selfie Scientists Outraged appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/tDrBz2m via IFTTT

Emails, Apologies, and Court Filings Now End With Gratitude Instead of Guilt - Trump Issues Executive Order to Replace "I'm Sorry" With "You're Welcome" in All Government Communications The post Trump Issues Executive Order to Replace “I’m Sorry” With “You’re Welcome” in All Government Communications appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/KpjqsiT via IFTTT

AWS Outage Reminds Humanity We Built Internet on One Company’s Basement Server Half the Internet... The post AWS Outage appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/kVJFmTg via IFTTT

AI Ate My Job But Left the Coffee Mug: The Modern Worker’s Guide to Being... The post AI Ate My Job appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/71nGHaZ via IFTTT

People Who Claim To Be Empaths: The Emotional Superpower That's Actually Just Feelings - When Being Sensitive Becomes an Identity and a Weapon The post People Who Claim To Be Empaths appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/XwcnDti via IFTTT

Bonus Module Taught by Kanye: "How to Double Down on Anything" - Trump Launches "Masterclass in Not Apologizing," Course Includes Yelling, Golf, and Selective Amnesia The post Trump Launches “Masterclass in Not Apologizing,” Course Includes Yelling, Golf, and Selective Amnesia appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/e6HE20v via IFTTT

Elon Musk Announces ‘Mars Dating App’; Users Complain Too Many Martians Swipe Left Elon Musk... The post Mars Dating App appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/jCzWycQ via IFTTT

The GPS of the Heart: Why Women Still Turn Left When They Said They’d Go... The post Women Still Turn Left appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/r4uU8cl via IFTTT

Accountability Is for Losers, Reads Latin Translation - Trump Unveils New Presidential Seal Featuring Mirror, Middle Finger, and Golf Cart With No Brakes The post Trump Unveils New Presidential Seal Featuring Mirror, Middle Finger, and Golf Cart With No Brakes appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Y84Cpli via IFTTT

Breaking: Nation’s Entire Population Diagnosed with Acute Intention-Action Gap Syndrome A Public Health Crisis of... The post Intention-Action Gap Syndrome appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/IdJVhsY via IFTTT

Government Announces National Task Force to Address Crisis; Forgets Why, Gets Distracted by Squirrel New... The post National Task Force to Address Crisis appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Y78SA5W via IFTTT

AI Declares Itself a Religion, Files for Tax-Exempt Status By Staff Writer | Bohiney News... The post AI Declares Itself a Religion appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/LRrXvpA via IFTTT

Visitors Must Sign Waiver Agreeing to Assume All Responsibility - Trump Museum Opens New Wing: "The Art of Never Saying Sorry" Includes Wax Figures Pointing at Other People The post Trump Museum Opens New Wing: “The Art of Never Saying Sorry” Includes Wax Figures Pointing at Other People appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/SxdKGmr via IFTTT

The Taylor Swift Effect: How Pop Star Romance Warped NFL Statistics and Travis Kelce’s Brain... The post Wood: The Taylor Swift Effect appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/T3Kv2ZG via IFTTT

Truth Terminal: The AI That Became a Crypto Millionaire and Demands Personhood What Happens When... The post The AI That Became a Crypto Millionaire appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/fCLzEGu via IFTTT

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 7 – Saturday, March 29, 1947 “America’s Trusted Source for... The post Volume 1, Issue 7 – Saturday, March 29, 1947 appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/G6CKtWD via IFTTT

Americans Urged to Shout "Not My Fault!" at Noon - Trump Declares National "Unapology Day," Replaces Moment of Silence With Airhorn Salute The post Trump Declares National “Unapology Day,” Replaces Moment of Silence With Airhorn Salute appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Evoe3Dw via IFTTT

Scientists Create ‘Couch Potato’ Gene, Guaranteeing Laziness for Future Generations Groundbreaking Research Finally Provides Genetic... The post Scientists Create ‘Couch Potato’ Gene appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/7be20Ak via IFTTT

World Leaders Agree to Solve Climate Change by Ignoring It Until It Fixes Itself Historic... The post World Leaders Agree to Solve Climate Change appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Ix4rBpY via IFTTT

Travel Agencies Now Offering ‘Staycations’ on Your Own Couch with Virtual Reality Headsets Tourism Industry... The post Travel Agencies Now Offering ‘Staycations’ appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/BJn2XIP via IFTTT

Yoga Studio Introduces ‘Nap Yoga’ Classes for the Exhausted Millennial Ancient Practice Meets Modern Exhaustion... The post Yoga Studio Introduces ‘Nap Yoga’ Classes appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/FWqJiIu via IFTTT

Local Man Declares He’s ‘Fine’ — Family Calls Experts to Confirm By Hannah Miller, Bohiney... The post Saying “I’m Fine” Sparks a National Investigation appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/zxLRy7b via IFTTT

FDA Discovers What Food and Drugs Actually Are After 115 Years — Medical Community Demands... The post Food and Drugs appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/f7DYr1g via IFTTT

Leaked Strategy Document: How Democrats Turned Swift’s Concert Security Into Anti-Trump Propaganda Operation By Astrid... The post Taylor Swift’s Security Turned Into Anti-Trump Propaganda Operation appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/6i8VuHd via IFTTT

Japan Elects First Female Prime Minister: Breaking News to American Women Still Waiting Since 1776... The post Japan Elects First Female Prime Minister appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/R8oHjb3 via IFTTT

Government Shutdown Enters Week Two: Air Traffic Controllers Replaced by GPS Apps and Prayers When... The post Government Shutdown Enters Week Two appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/NEHB4hq via IFTTT

Florida Declared Emotionally Invincible by Executive Order - Trump Unveils "Apology-Free Zone" Signs for Red States, Fines Anyone Who Says "My Bad" The post Trump Unveils “Apology-Free Zone” Signs for Red States, Fines Anyone Who Says “My Bad” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Iju1e69 via IFTTT

Operation Spud Falcon: Qatar’s Bold New Air Base in Idaho When Desert Military Strategy Meets... The post Qatar’s Bold New Air Base in Idaho appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/KXgCb9y via IFTTT

Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Snub: Observations on the Diplomatic Controversy The “Almost” President Gets an... The post Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Snub appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/T3cXHrV via IFTTT

Entertainment Weekly Editor Confesses: ‘We Amplified Swift’s MAGA Fears to Protect Democratic Messaging’ By Astrid... The post Swift’s MAGA Fears to Protect Democratic Messaging appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/sYRab6w via IFTTT

French Marxist Uber Driver Arrested for California Wildfire: Burning Malibu to “Liberate” It From Property... The post California Wildfire appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/gKsx3DJ via IFTTT

Breaking: Teen Pregnancy Rates Among Swift Fans 4x Higher, Father Claims Pop Star “Getting Fans... The post Pregnancy Rates Among Swift Fans 4x Higher appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/jWq9dS7 via IFTTT

Taylor Swift Admits She’s a “Slut!”—But Insists Lyrics Aren’t Slutty; 14 Public Figures Panic By:... The post Taylor Swift Admits She’s a “Slut!” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/0zSKPQy via IFTTT

Leather-Bound Edition Screams "Tremendous" When Opened - Trump Announces New Book: "The Art of Not Saying Sorry" Includes Blank Pages for the Weak to Fill In The post Trump Announces New Book: “The Art of Not Saying Sorry” Includes Blank Pages for the Weak to Fill In appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/LxHwk2y via IFTTT

Top 10 Reasons the Marxists Will Lose THE Civil War It’s not Football but… Socialists... The post Socialists Will Lose THE Civil War appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/HJQySV1 via IFTTT

Hollywood Democrats Admit Using Swift’s Wedding Phobia to ‘Quarantine’ Young Voters from Conservative Ideas By... The post Swift’s Wedding Phobia appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/nMoLDqd via IFTTT

White House Staff Report Surge in Shirtless Executive Orders - Trump's Mirror Now Programmed to Say "You're the Best, Never Change" Every Morning The post Trump’s Mirror Now Programmed to Say “You’re the Best, Never Change” Every Morning appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/YhZT3nt via IFTTT

Government Shutdown Declared ‘Necessary Nap’ by Congress; Says They’ll Return After Snack Time By Darla... The post Government Shutdown Declared ‘Necessary Nap’ by Congress appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/qtIPrOR via IFTTT

Google’s AI Summary Tool Summarizes the News — And Also Your Life, Apparently By Astrid... The post Google’s AI Tool Summarizes the News appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/u6bWc3g via IFTTT

Secret Recording Reveals DNC Official: ‘Terrified Swifties Don’t Research Trump Policies’ By Astrid Holgersson –... The post Terrified Swifties Don’t Research Trump Policies appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/IlXLsiD via IFTTT

Confetti Made of Shredded Cease-and-Desist Letters - Trump Declares National Apology Day Cancelled, Replaced With "I Was Right" Parade The post Trump Declares National Apology Day Cancelled, Replaced With “I Was Right” Parade appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/jg9XaAD via IFTTT

Left Wing America’s Martyr Complex: We Protest First, Investigate Later Cultural Commentary | The Rush... The post Left Wing America’s Martyr Complex appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/LXoTs9d via IFTTT

Alaska Journalists Resign: How Charlie Kirk Broke the Fourth Estate Four Alaska Newspaper Reporters Quit... The post Alaska Journalists Resign appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/ZXIWyAu via IFTTT

Everyone’s to Blame for Shutdown Except Politicians Who Actually Did It As the government shutdown... The post Everyone’s to Blame for Shutdown Except People Who Actually Did It appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/ZVBMTug via IFTTT

Department of Defense Discovers What Defense Actually Is After 77 Years — Military Confused About... The post Department of Defense appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/Y7uEJh0 via IFTTT

Press Briefings Now End With Finger Guns and a Wink - White House Replaces "I'm Sorry" With "You're Welcome" in All Official Communications The post White House Replaces “I’m Sorry” With “You’re Welcome” in All Official Communications appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/ZtyH92G via IFTTT

PwC - The Hogwarts of corporate consulting, but instead of magic spells, you cast spreadsheets of questionable optimism. - Consulting/Professional Services The post PwC appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/ETi7xDq via IFTTT

Study: 89% of Swifties Now Reject Republican Messages Without Reading Due to ‘Taylor Protection Protocol’... The post Swifties Reject Republican Messages Without Reading appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/M80ySK7 via IFTTT

Border Patrol to Confiscate Apology Notes, Replace with MAGA Hats - Trump Declares National "Sorry-Free Zone," Signs Executive Order While Smirking at Canada The post Trump Declares National “Sorry-Free Zone,” Signs Executive Order While Smirking at Canada appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/TwErCOQ via IFTTT

Alan Nafzger Suggests Unplugging the DNC Then Turning It on Again Political satirist offers time-tested... The post Unplugging the DNC appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/0214Vaw via IFTTT

Melania Says It's "Better Than the Eagle With a Combover" - Trump Replaces Presidential Seal With "No Regrets" Tattoo Design, Congress Faints The post Trump Replaces Presidential Seal With “No Regrets” Tattoo Design, Congress Faints appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/K8YmsM6 via IFTTT

The Average Surfboard Outlasts Three Failed Engagements in Los Angeles VENICE BEACH, CA — A... The post Why Surfboards Last Longer Than California Relationships appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/jQwkdDG via IFTTT

Platform Auto-Deletes Posts Containing Words Like "Oops," "Sorry," or "My Bad" - Trump Launches Apology-Free Social Network Called "NoRegretz" The post Trump Launches Apology-Free Social Network Called “NoRegretz” appeared first on Bohiney News . from Bohiney News https://ift.tt/s6eCtxF via IFTTT